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The Alex Beale Report

  THE ALEX BEALE REPORT Fashion Week Sitting here recalling the many years I’ve spent covering Paris Fashion Week ––I can’t help feeling that maybe I ought to have spent more time covering the fashion “off the catwalk” than that on it. I mean ––I have the distinct feeling that it would have been more revealing  about how these big brands insinuate their influence into our everyday lives by covering my colleagues preening themselves in those Parisian eateries  ––than maybe covering a brand’s assembly line of preened stick-figures ever could. For example ––It was day two of Fashion Week ––it was the year Balenciaga brought out those safe “office appropriate” power suits for those darlings who were more upwardly mobile than most ––I know, it hardly narrows it down, but believe me ––this year was the year when Madame Corporate Climber was “oh so de rigueur” ––kitten heels were out and cougar claws were in. I normally attend these things alone ––but this day I decided to mix things up

Valley of the Biker Chicks

VALLEY OF THE BIKER CHICKS © 1962 JOAN ALONE MOVIES ALL RIGHTS RESERVED FADE IN: ROLL CREDITS TITLE “VALLEY OF THE BIKER CHICKS” CUT TO: EX. DAY - DESERT A vast desert stretches off into the far distance, alone on a lone road REBEL JO rides her hog ––it kicks up dust as she passes, making her look like some phantom of vengeance sent from Hell to visit bad ass justice upon the wickedly out of fashion.   A NARRATOR introduces REBEL JO the bad ass biker chick that patrols these Deserts for perps.   NARRATOR This is the Valley of the Biker Chicks ––when the Fashion Police fail to do their job ––the biker chicks keep law, order and good taste in check… As REBEL JO rides her hog along the same dirt road she spots a car coming in the opposite direction ––she looks at the occupants as she passes and then she turns around and pursues them ––they’ve committed some violation and now REBEL JO wants sweet, sweet revenge. She catches up with the car and pulls it over to the side of the desert road,

Greta and the Footpath through the Woods

Once upon a time… Greta, the Fashion Queen, needed to get some new boots for the Ball, so she had to go to Boot-Woods and find the best boot cobbler in all the land. However, in Boot-Woods lived an evil hobgoblin called “Louboutin” ––he was a wicked Shoe-Fairy who would torture women’s feet with expensive, but wholly impractical, footwear. Greta had to avoid Louboutin and find her boot cobbler by nightfall ––but the path through the woods was dark and so Greta lost her way. “Whom is it you seek?” said a voice in the woods. Greta looked about, but could see no-one ––who is it that spoke to me? She thought. “Well?” said the voice, “are you the sort of Fashion Queen who ignores the path she treads upon?” “The path?” replied Greta. “Yes.” agreed the Path, “ask me the way and I shall tell ––as all feet pass upon my back, therefore I know to where every footfall leads.” “Well,” replied Greta, “I require some assistance in getting to my boot cobbler ––he’s the finest boot cobbler in all the l

Industrial

Industrial music has its own fashion ––the music is harsh, rhythmical and atonal ––the fashion brings fetishism from the basements to the streets and back again.     

A to Z of Fashion

D   is for Drapery   Drapery, or the draping technique, is used in dressmaking to softly drape fabric over the contours of the body to extenuate its natural form.   It was made famous by the Greeks, to celebrate their gloriously athletic physiques, however ––from the 18 century onwards it was rather used to disguise the forms of the less than athletic ––and it is now used to cover a host of other sins which normal cutting simply cannot mask.

A to Z of Fashion

C   is for Coco   Coco was the nickname for Madame Chanel. Orphaned as a child,   she was   opportunistic, and creative with her virtues, however, despite her many faults, she found a home in the hearts of many rich men ––which afforded her the opportunity to establish her own ‘house’, dedicated to her first and only love –– Chanel. 

Happy Halloween

Halloween, or Oíche Shamhna in Irish, is the eve before the day of the dead when a fissure opens between their world and ours ––if you’re very lucky you can even get a photo of them: caught this one in the garden this morning ––said she was an accountant in our world, but now that she’s dead she’s decided to let her hair down ––you go girl!!!  

A to Z of Fashion

B is for Brogue.   Brogue is a style of men’s shoe which originated in the Irish peasantry, they were used as a means of traversing bogs, as their many perforations allowed for better traction while walking through wet-lands. As peasant wear they were inexpensive and mostly made from less expensive untanned leather, which contrasts with Louis Vuitton’s latest incarnation of the “bróg” [styled as ‘Beaubourg’ as they now pronounce it in a French accent] cost a staggering €500 plus per pair. One wonders what other former peasant apparel from the auld-Emerald Isle might be appropriated next by fashionistas of the extremely well-heeled? Are Fendi to bring out a line of Aran sweaters with their “FF” logo stitched into its cabling? Or maybe Chanel with bring out their “CC” logo as a Tara Brooch with a ‘lucky’ shamrock shaped clutch as an accessory ––no? Though I have heard ––and this is a scoop ––Louis Vuitton is to add to its ‘Irish Peasant Line’ with a set of ‘shoulder suit cases’ styled a

A to Z of Fashion

A   is for   Avant-Garde.   The Avant -Garde styles itself a more ‘intellectual’ approach to the design process ––it’s a way of thinking which is forward looking , innovative and goes against the mainstream: it stands out against the ‘run-of-the-mill’ and convention. Some fashion designers, who desire to be noted partitioners of the Avant-garde, go so far as to use the philosophical works of the ‘Deconstructionist’ philosopher Jacques Derrida.   Deconstruction: if you’re not familiar with contemporary movements in post-modern thought, is actually a critique of the metaphysics of presence in the ontology of phenomenology ––which of course translates into the fashion of having a jacket with 6 displaced arm holes and the use of a trouser leg as a hat. Which is all well and good from an ‘intellectual’ perspective ––but from the daily practicalities of looking chic while shopping, it does rather make it considerably difficult to retrieve your purse from one of your many thigh-bags.   

The Use of Black

“Black as midnight black, as pitch, blacker than the foulest witch ” is a quote from Ridley Scott’s 1985 fairytale of a movie: ‘Legend’ ––and I think it perfectly illustrates the sinister connotations that this colour, or lack of colour (if you’re so inclined), has had in our culture. It’s associated with the dark forces of our common fates ––death, devilish interference and its funereal aftermath. Not the sort of connotations one would hope to be associated with if one owned a fashion label perhaps ––and yet the most avant-garde of those labels have turned this much maligned of our colourless colours into a virtue. How have they achieved this? I hear you ask, well ––by using it as a neutral background to best display their use of abstract cutting and textural juxtapositions, none of which, I would argue, would be possible or merely obvious in any other colour: for example, we’ve never heard anyone praise both a designer’s avant-garde use of cutting and materials, while also praising

Saint Karl of the White Ponytail

  So what’s the deal with Karl Lagerfeld? Listen ––it’s been some time now since his death and therefore he’s ripe for reassessment - oh, and don’t come at me with: “Why he’s the King of Couture - didn’t he get Chanel off its knees.” Okay - so he managed to do something nobody could get petite little Coco to do for the entire duration of the Second World War - but really, does that require his beatification? “Saint Karl of the White Ponytail” ––he has no feast day you know - unless you can call drinking 12 gallons of diet Coke a day ‘a feast’.  His singular innovation seems to have been that of dragging the mummified corpse of Couture into our age of mass-manufacture ––and how did he achieve such a feat? Was it through the democratisation of ownership ––i.e. through an innovative use of manufacture to put the one-of-a-kind on-off within the reach of your average Betty-in-the-street? No such altruism. His grand solution was to use the Chanel brand alone as his creative cash-cow ––so no

Inspiration

Q: What aesthetic choices have you made to create your own voice? A: Well, ever since I started my career interviewers have asked me: what is your inspiration? However, this is not a straightforward question, because I have no singular inspiration from which I have drawn an influence, certainly none which would have had such an influence that it would dominate my overall aesthetic. However, in an attempt to give some form of an answer: I would say that all the things that I love, from film, music , art, architecture, graphic design and fashion design, from writers, to thinkers, poets, photographers and to the simple act of looking at nature, have all contributed to the formation of my own aesthetic choices in a way that light fills a room without the room consciously seeking that light ––so, if, if you like, it is the light which filled me through my response to its brightness   that has allowed me to create my own aesthetic voice. Of course ––you might ask: what is unique the

Production Diary

Production Diary I have been thinking for a while now about what I can write about design. This process has intrigued me for over 35 years now. To think up an idea and then bring it into existence is a magical thing . I am a designer for individual clients and work also on my own label. The process differs for my clients because they bring with them their limitations, requirements and style.  When designing my own clothes it's only limited by my own imagination. It’s freedom without restriction and it is very exciting. This idea might come from a mood, a song, a film or a painting. Over the years I have developed an aesthetic, which gives your own work a particular look.  The next step from the idea is fabric choice. This will depend on the cut and the fall you want to create. The whole way through the process there is a freedom to change,  develop and adapt the design. Once I’m happy with my creation, after the fittings have been do